


walking through the first snow

by sopes



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Christmas Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, M/M, Schizophrenia, Seo Changbin is Whipped, broccoli chan, jisung is changbin’s roommate he’s our special guest, lapslock, very minor though its not that serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 10:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16931286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sopes/pseuds/sopes
Summary: one december, two boys, and a metaphorical mistletoe.it is changbin’s first day of high school, and everything he dreamed of is happening, except for when it’s not.he found the orange and pink haired boy who didn’t make fun of him when he had crutches in fourth grade, but it goes down in two different ways.





	walking through the first snow

a day, a mistletoe, and a bus stop.

 

changbin runs out of the school’s gym and welcomes the snow that has barely begun falling. he looks up at the sky in pure relief that the first day of high school has finished. his nose caught onto a few snowflakes; he counted their arms and admired the intricate detail that danced around the crystals. he was nostalgic, wishing he was still the 9 year old little shit in elementary school. the hallways flood rapidly, leaving changbin walking through as slow as a turtle. the lettuce headed boy, who he recognizes as chan, flips his skateboard and pulls back his hair. he throws a red ornament at him and changbin jiggled with it before successfully holding it steady. it had patterns of golden glitter encrusted around it.

 

“cute”, he mumbled, then called back to chan, “thank you!”

 

“how was your first day?” chan asked politely.

 

“could be better. i already dont like half my teachers.”

 

“me too, one of them called out my dyed hair and told me i’m better off bald.”

 

changbin wanted to tease his broccoli head, but he had to admit it looked fine as hell. “it suits your chaotic personality. you’ve never changed.”

 

chan grinned and flexed his skateboard before zooming through the crowd. changbin found his skater boy vibe unusual, but chan’s helped him break out of his shell. he needed someone to talk to, who he could trust, and chan was that brother to him.

 

content, he walks towards the bus stop as he fiddles with his notebooks. he tries his best not to talk to anyone else today, he was tired and he thinks social situations are the most difficult thing to handle next to math equations.

 

he spots adorable gingerly pink hair dusted with snow rush through the crowd of people gathered at the bus stop. intrigued, he moved to see who it was, almost tripping and falling forward.

 

cute hair and a cute face. this is not what amuses him, however. he recognizes him. it’s someone from his long gone childhood, felix. up close, he could see his rejuvenating streaks of ruby pink scattered around the rest of his ginger head. pink was always his color, but changbin didn’t think it was a color so intimidating. how should he spark up a conversation with someone close from four years ago?

 

felix was a magical, sparkly superhuman from a comic book brought to life, his hero. changbin had an accident in fourth grade that left him crippled and in demand for crutches the whole school year. kids are mean, and the first thing they did was laugh. there was only isolation and pity left for him. he sat in the same grassy corner everyday underneath a tree he found soothing to lay against. until rose-colored felix, the boy everyone had swooned upon encounter, asked him what no one ever did.

 

“hey, uhh, crutches! are you okay?” felix formed a heart with his hands, such an endearing way of showing support.

 

he winced at the nickname. “ahh thank you. well, i mean, i’m okay.”

 

“but you’re still on the ground,” felix held out his hands and pulled up changbin. the grass had stained his uniform. “you look so gloomy sitting here all the time.”

 

felix picked him up when he fell. felix gave him worth when everyone discarded him. felix gave him wings when the world wanted him to stay in rock bottom.

 

“this place is my sanctuary,“ changbin stood upright as he grabbed his crutches. he struggled as he began to walk back to his classroom. felix caught on and scurried in front of him.

 

“listen, it’s not lovely being lonely. the other kids don’t matter to me, you do.”

 

changbin widened his eyes and felt them tear up. the kind words melted him. he was whipped for his candy eyes.

 

“let’s be friends. i don’t want you to walk alone,” felix held his hands and swinged them around playfully. changbin couldn’t refuse the sunshine no matter how hard he tried to.

 

changbin was glad to meet him again, it felt surreal.

 

on impulse, he reaches out to him and grabs felix’s right hand. it was as soft as he had remembered. changbin met his eyes, about to apologize for holding him all of a sudden, but felix recognized him the moment he spun around.

 

“changbin? _crutches_ changbin?” felix struck him with a smile full of the stars on his face.

 

“is that a nickname i’ll never live down?”

 

“on the bright side, it’s how we met.”

 

changbin thought that line sounded like something romantic on an anniversary date. his cheeks flushed and he looked away temporarily. the other just stared at changbin’s burgundy head and muttered how sleek it was. changbin’s head was up in the clouds and didn’t notice this.

 

felix decided he didn’t need a mistletoe for what he was about to do.

 

he leaned forward to changbin, tugging his burgundy hair, and pressed his curvy lips against his soft cheek. felix was compelled to embrace all of seo changbin, the boy he wants to protect and build a home with.

 

changbin’s heart was filled with a genuine happiness that could last him all of next year, maybe forever. the snowfall got heavier and colder, but all changbin could feel was the warm imprint of felix’s kiss. too perfect for anything changbin thought he deserved. he stood frozen and found himself in a suddenly empty school.

 

                                     𓇗

 

a night, a primrose, and a lonely thought.

 

changbin’s limbs jittered as he woke up and rose from his bed.

 

his first day of school hadn’t happened yet.

 

it was a tricky lucid dream, and he had fallen for it. it indeed was too perfect after all.

 

his christmas lights have turned off by now, so it must’ve been past midnight. he doesn’t bother to check the time, instead he reaches for floor, bouncing off the bed and landing on carpet lazily. he gets up with a grudge and unfolds the blinds to glance at the stars.

 

it feels as if the stars were eyes piercing their glowing gaze back at him in a million ways across the sky.

 

changbin starts to head for the kitchen, dragging his bed sheets across the floor. he is greeted by jisung, who looks back at him like a deer caught in the headlights. he is in a santa suit, complete with the jingle bell on his triangular hat.

 

“nice cosplay dude, but why at this hour?” changbin rubs his eyes in confusion, not believing his orange and green haired roommate is in such attire.

 

“i could say the same to you...” jisung notices changbin—with not only dragging eyes—but dragging bed sheets. he looked like a ghost and it seemed like the nightmare before christmas. “go back to sleep.”

 

“no.” changbin flats. “i can’t sleep.” he reaches for a piece of chicken as a late night snack, still wondering why jisung was decorating their small apartment at 4 am.

 

“you alright? i was gonna preserve this gingerbread house until january but you can have a piece of the roof.”

 

changbin slips out a thought through his tired lips. “i think i gave myself the love story i’ll never have.”

 

“i think you need more cookies, cheer up binnie!”

 

“loneliness at a time like this always gets me.”

 

jisung sympathized with this and gave him comfortable silence and space. changbin quietly helped string some fairy lights together and put a few shiny bows on the presents under their pine tree.

 

maybe someday, if destiny wished to, changbin and felix could live in december’s joy just like this. changbin’s thoughts overwhelmed his fragile state, collapsing on the couch next to their tree. he fell asleep, but he wouldn’t know.

 

he had fallen back into his dream. felix was slowly fading like the bus windows filling up with fog. he dropped his head low and opened up his history book.

 

but changbin could still make out his freckled cheeks. he’d miss them. he’d miss his first snow. and his friendly kiss.

 

                                     𓇗

 

a boy, a poinsettia, and learning to walk again.

 

a sudden rush of déjà vu had messed with changbin’s head all day. his school day had happened exactly as he dreamed it. he was clueless; what is real anymore? how could he distinguish them? he attempted at the cliché to pinch himself, and so he proceeded to do so with lingering doubt. he checked his pulse to make sure he wasn’t in a psychological spiral of repeated events. he wasn’t going crazy, he could feel his own skin, but it still felt like he travelled back to the dream once again.

 

it was the end of his first day of high school. the real deal. the same snowflakes had fallen to his hands. he traced the designs with his fingertips.

 

he still felt lightheaded, as if he was way up in the clouds, still stuck the same moment he held felix’s hand and took in the beauty of his axinite eyes with delicate caution. he could lock up that memory in his heart for eternity.

 

he watches the same students pass by him. chan, like in the dream, pulls back his apple green hair and flips his skateboard. changbin chuckles a bit, as this chan is much more energetic and lively. changbin held his hands together and reassured his breathing was composed. perhaps his disconnection has wilted. he is fully thinking once again.

 

until the boy with stars in his cheeks walked towards the bus stop. changbin held in a fear of messing up so terribly, because if this is reality, everything that happens would be _real_.

 

even meeting his childhood best friend came true. his mind wasn’t playing only tricks, but truth. his brain was giving him a heads up, but it didn’t prepare him enough to witness the beauty of the boy with the brightest smile.

 

felix’s presence was even more handsome than the faint childish image in changbin’s dream.

 

“changbin? _crutches_ changbin?” this moment was just like a movie script. maybe he was trapped in a film about parallel universes or having two souls or being split into-

 

“is that a nickname i’ll never live down?” changbin chuckles nervously, realizing his words were rushed and awkward. he’d hope the boy hadn’t noticed.

 

they both giggled, continuing the chat without the dream’s script. it was messing, but little by little they caught up with each other. they fetched curious glances full of wonder and interest. they were both shaking with floating nerves, but their hands intertwined and swung the same way aswhen they were in fourth grade. changbin was able to get through the conversation without stuttering thanks to that.

 

there was a certain aura of shyness yet comfort between them, and it was a moment none of them wanted to ruin.

 

then felix’s bus started to drive away.

 

felix let out a panicked shriek. “have a good day, and please please stay warm, i’ve been dying all day,” felix beamed at changbin as he climbed the bus stairs. in a flash, he was back to reading his history book. changbin pouts as he watched the bus drive away in slow motion, all he could see was felix’s bright hair bopping to whatever song he was listening to.

 

the kiss didn’t happen. but it compensates for the fact that literally everything else did. he wasn’t disappointed, changbin thought rationally. a boy you lost contact since elementary school can’t possibly kiss you upon meeting again. dreamlike as it was that he even got the chance to meet the sunshine again.

 

did felix even like him? will felix only refer to him as “crutches”? changbin could know all the answers over time, he needs to give both of their hearts time.

 

and changbin knows: just like the time he had crutches, he must learn to walk again.

**Author's Note:**

> i have an idea for this to be chaptered in the future but i can’t make any promises hue
> 
> scream with me @starryyxy lets be friends :p


End file.
